‘You Feel Like You Failed Your Child’: Parental Experiences of Autism Diagnostic Report Language

Abstract

This study explored parents’ perceptions of the language used in neurodevelopmental diagnostic reports following autism assessments. The research examined how deficit-based language within traditional diagnostic frameworks influence families’ experiences, understanding and engagement with their child's diagnosis. Fifteen parents of autistic children participated in semi-structured interviews, analysed through reflexive thematic analysis. Four themes were identified: deficit framing as misrepresentation of the child , the value of words , reframing diagnosis through neuro-affirming language and affirmation versus access . Parents reported that language in reports was discouraging, overly focused on deficits and at times misrepresented their child's strengths and identity. Neurodivergent participants expressed sensitivity to deficit-based terminology. While many valued more affirming, strengths-based language, some recognised that deficit-oriented language remains necessary to secure support from education and health services. This reveals a complex paradox: language that may grant access to help can simultaneously undermine identity and well-being. The findings indicate that diagnostic language has emotional and relational impact on families and may shape children's self-identity. While changing language alone cannot resolve systemic challenges, adopting more neuro-affirming practices could improve diagnostic experiences and support positive identity development. The study underscores the need for cultural and institutional change to support meaningful, inclusive diagnostic practices reflecting the values of the neurodiversity movement.