Grief, Fragmentation, and Reclamation

Abstract

This autoethnography explores my journey as an educator and advocate for autism in South Africa, instigated by the deeply personal transformation triggered by the COVID-19 pandemic. Through four interconnected stories – ‘A world on the brink’, ‘Loss and fragmentation’, ‘Teaching through pain’, and ‘Reclaiming identity’ – I reflect on how grief, resistance, and the process of reclaiming identity have reshaped my life and professional practice. The study employs Kübler-Ross’s (1969) model of grief and Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development to analyse the profound effects of my mother’s death on me during the South African 2020 national lockdown. At the same time, my experience of teaching neurodivergent students online illustrates how personalised support and engaged families helped reduce anxiety, build resilience, and enable a shift from grief to renewed purpose. These narratives connect my personal trauma to the broader systemic challenges in supporting neurodivergent learners in South Africa. The study highlights how adversity acted as a catalyst for stronger advocacy and more inclusive education practices, in alignment with the post-pandemic imperative to ‘build forward differently’. It reflects my scholarly commitment to advancing disability studies and educational equity within under-resourced Global South contexts, contributing to life-writing scholarship on neurodivergent grief and identity reclamation.